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Wedding Thank-You Card Wording for Guests and Family
Wedding thank-you card wording for guests, out-of-town guests, parents who hosted, the officiant, helpers, honeymoon funds and elopements, plus timing.
Edited by Michael KahnUpdated
Heartfelt
Dear Rafael and Simone, Thank you for flying all the way from Lisbon for our wedding. We know what it took to cross an ocean for one weekend, and having you at our table made the day feel complete. We are already planning our visit to you. With love, Noor and James
Dear Mom and Dad, Thank you for giving us the wedding of our dreams. From the first venue tour to the last song, you carried more of this than anyone saw, and you did it with so much joy. We love you, and we hope you know how much of that day was you. All our love, Clara and Ben
Dear Aunt Dorothy, Thank you for reading the poem at our ceremony. Your voice held steady through every line, which is more than we managed, and Grandma said she could hear every word from the back row. With love, Molly and Grant
Dear Grandma Ruth, Thank you for lending me your veil. Walking down the aisle in the same lace you wore in 1962 made me feel you were right beside me the whole time. I will keep it safe until it goes to the next bride in our family. All my love, Rachel
Dear Grandpa Walt, Thank you for coming to our wedding. Seeing you on the dance floor with Mom was the moment half the guests mentioned afterward, and we will treasure the photo of it. With love, Jenna and Chris
Dear Liam and Noah, Thank you for walking me down the aisle. Having my boys beside me as I married Ross is the part of the day I think about most, and I know it was a big day for you too. I love you both. Love, Mom
Warm
Dear Aunt Pat and Uncle Leo, Thank you for celebrating with us on Saturday. Seeing you two lead the conga line at 10 p.m. is one of our favorite memories of the night, and the toaster oven has already made its first batch of cinnamon toast. We are so glad you were there. With love, Hannah and Wes
Dear Kenji, Thank you for making the trip to Tulum. A destination wedding asks a lot of our guests, from the flights to the time off, and we know it. Watching the sunset ceremony with you in the second row is a memory we will keep. Love, Amara and Luis
Dear Linda and Frank, Thank you for the rehearsal dinner and for welcoming me into your family so warmly. Your toast to "the newest Brennan" made me cry in the best way. I am so lucky to have you as in-laws. With love, Clara
Dear Jess, Thank you for officiating. When we asked you to get ordained online, we did not expect you to write the funniest and most moving ceremony any of us has heard. You told our story better than we could have. Love, Priya and Sam
Dear Tasha and Mike, Thank you for giving up your Friday to help us set up. You folded 140 napkins, hung the lights in the barn and found the missing table numbers in a box marked "kitchen." The room looked the way it did because of you. With so much gratitude, Erin and Josh
Dear Marisa and Paul, Thank you for your generous gift to our honeymoon fund. It paid for the snorkeling trip in Kauai, where we saw two sea turtles and toasted you at lunch. Thank you for helping make that week what it was. With love, Dev and Aisha
Dear Uncle Victor, We were so sorry you could not make it to the wedding, and we thought of you during the toasts. Thank you for the beautiful serving bowl. It will be on the table the first time we host Thanksgiving, and we hope you will be at it. With love, Grace and Owen
Dear Diane, Thank you for the lovely gift you sent after hearing about our courthouse wedding. We kept the day small on purpose, and it meant so much to know that friends like you were celebrating with us from a distance. We hope to raise a glass with you soon. With love, Ellie and Marc
Dear Aunt Bea and Uncle Hal, Thank you for joining us on the livestream. We loved seeing your names pop up in the chat during the vows, and knowing you were watching from Arizona made the day feel bigger. Thank you also for the card and your kind words. With love, Sasha and Lee
We are overwhelmed with gratitude for everyone who celebrated with us on Saturday, in person and from afar. Thank you for the love, the dancing and the memories. Handwritten notes are on the way!
Casual
Dear Everyone on the Third Floor, Thank you for the wedding gift and the card signed by the whole department. The espresso machine is getting daily use, and we are thinking of all of you every morning. I am lucky to work with such kind people. Warmly, Daniel
Formal
Dear Reverend Gaines, Thank you for officiating our wedding and for the months of premarital sessions before it. Your words about patience and laughter were exactly right for us, and several guests asked afterward who wrote them. We are grateful you were part of our day. Sincerely, Mr. and Mrs. Tomás Herrera
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Castellano, Thank you for your generous wedding gift. We are putting it toward the down payment on our first home, and we will think of you when we finally carry each other over our own threshold. We were so happy you could share the day with us. Warmly, Lauren and Michael Ortiz
Short & sweet
Thank you so much for celebrating with us and for your generous gift. We loved seeing you on the dance floor.
Thank you for being part of our wedding day. We are so grateful for your love and for the beautiful gift.
Thank you for sharing our day with us. We are so happy you were there.
A wedding thank-you card names the gift or gesture, says how you are using it or what it meant, and adds a line about having the guest there. Sign both names. Send cards within three months of receiving each gift, the outer limit the Emily Post Institute gives, and sooner if you can.
The wedding thank-you list
A wedding produces a long thank-you list, and it helps to see all of it before starting. Most couples end up writing to:
- Gift givers, at the shower and at the wedding, one note per gift. Our wedding gift thank-you wording covers registry gifts, cash and checks.
- Guests who traveled, especially for a destination wedding, even when they gave no gift.
- Parents and in-laws who hosted, paid or helped plan.
- The wedding party, ideally paired with a gift. See our wedding party thank-you wording.
- The officiant, readers, musicians, and anyone who gave a toast.
- Helpers who set up, lent something, drove relatives or ran the day.
- Vendors who went beyond the contract, with our wedding vendor thank-you wording.
- Shower and engagement gifts, which get their own notes; see bridal shower and engagement wording.
Keep one running list from the engagement on: name, address, what they gave or did, and a check mark when the note goes out.
What to write in a wedding thank-you card
Name the gift, say what it does in your life together, and add one line about the person. “Thank you for the toaster oven, it has already made its first batch of cinnamon toast, and seeing you lead the conga line is one of our favorite memories” covers all three. With a stack of a hundred cards, a specific line in each also keeps them from sounding identical.
For guests who came without a gift, or whose gift was the trip, thank them for being there and name one moment you saw them in.
Thanking parents and the people who hosted
Parents who paid for or hosted the wedding deserve a long, handwritten note, sent soon after, even if you thanked them in a toast. Name the work they did that no one saw: the venue visits, the seating chart, the deposit. Thank the other set of parents too, for the rehearsal dinner or for welcoming a new member into the family.
The officiant, readers and helpers
A clergy member who officiated gets a formal note, often with the honorarium or soon after it. A friend who got ordained to officiate gets a warmer one that says what they got right about your story. Thank anyone who gave a reading, played music or made a toast, and the friends who spent the day before folding napkins and hanging lights.
Destination weddings, elopements and virtual guests
Guests at a destination wedding gave up money and vacation days, and the note should say you know it. For an elopement or a courthouse wedding, people often send gifts after the announcement, and each gets a note like any other wedding gift. If guests watched a livestream, thank them for being there virtually and mention something you saw from them, like a message in the chat.
Signing, names and photo cards
Sign with both first names. Use a new shared last name only on cards that go out after the wedding, and keep pre-wedding cards (shower and early gifts) in your current names. Either partner can write the note and sign both names. The Emily Post Institute says splitting the stack is fine, and dividing it by whose guest it is makes the notes warmer.
Photo thank-you cards from the wedding are a nice touch, but the printed message on the front does not replace a handwritten line inside. Write at least one sentence by hand that names the gift.
When to send wedding thank-you notes
Gifts that arrive before the wedding get a note within a couple of weeks. Gifts given at or after the wedding get one within three months. If you are past that, send the note anyway; open with the thanks, and if you must mention the delay, keep it to one line.
Common questions
How long do you have to send wedding thank-you notes?
The Emily Post Institute gives three months from receiving the gift as the outer limit, and sooner is better. For gifts that arrive before the wedding, write the note within a couple of weeks rather than saving it for after.
Do you send a thank-you note to wedding guests who did not bring a gift?
It is not required, but it is a kind gesture, especially for guests who traveled. A short note or a photo card thanking them for celebrating with you is enough.
What do you write in a wedding thank-you card?
Name the gift or the gesture, say how you will use it or what it meant, and add one line about having them there. Close warmly and sign both names. Three or four sentences is plenty.
Who writes the wedding thank-you notes?
Either partner can write them, and the Emily Post Institute says splitting the stack is fine. The writer signs both names, and many couples each take their own family and friends, since each knows those guests best.
How do you sign wedding thank-you cards?
Sign with both first names, such as "Clara and Ben". Use a new shared last name only on cards sent after the wedding, and on formal notes, "Mr. and Mrs." or both full names works.
Should I mention the amount of a money gift?
No. Thank them for their generosity and say what the money is going toward, such as a down payment, the honeymoon or furniture for the new place.
Do wedding vendors get a thank-you note?
They do not expect one, but a short note and an online review are welcome, especially for a planner, photographer or caterer who went beyond the contract.